Three, Two, One………Go!

I’m pscyhing myself up to go dumpster diving. You read that right… Me the Princess of Pink is going to dive into the bowels of my garbage can. I may never be seen again.

We all know what goes in there. Once it’s gone into the Black Bin of Doom I consider it “Lost and gone forever, dreadful sorry, Clementine.” So why am I even be thinking of it? you may ask.

I got a speeding ticket last week. The first one in 20 years. I’ve managed to avoid a speeding ticket since Mother’s Day 1990. That debacle involved the Columbia River Gorge, the Beach Boys and a sweet little red ride with Out of State plates that had the needle buried. I did slow down quite a bit when car after car were still passing me. But never the less I still got clocked at 85mph in a 65 zone.

Last week I just wasn’t paying attention.

So I got a ticket.

Yesterday I cleaned out my car. I tossed everything. Including the ticket. Yucky. Lucky me…… here I go.

Lots of Snow

This is what I woke up to yesterday. Between the wind and so much wet weight once things started melting, I’ll need a tree trimmer with a chainsaw. Soon after I got home from church  there was a big noise, it sounded like a rifle shot. One of the big limbs right in the middle of the tree snapped! There are at least 3 good-sized limbs that need to be cut down but that one is the worst it’s at least 6” wide and about 15’ long.

   Back yard left

  Front porch

  Back yard

  Looking north from the front porch

All together I think we got off pretty lucky with about 8-9 inches here, except of course where it drifted. Quite a bit has melted already but it froze  again last night and there’s a crust on it. Lucy can’t decide if she likes it or not. If she moves fast she can skim along the top. Once she stops she sinks like a stone and practically buries her entire self trying to dig out.

Best of all…..some kind person shoveled it all off the driveway and walk while I was at church.

I’m Becoming a Gleek

I totally love this show!! I hate that it’s on the same time as NCIS and Dancing With the Stars. Thank Goodness I have a DVR! I loved being in Swing Choir and Concert Choir in HS.

Due in a large part to Mr. David Wright the choir director. The poor guy was straight out of college about 23 and seriously cute. Like Matthew McConoughey cute! I was 15 and had a monster crush on him.

Our town wasn't much bigger than a pimple so there was the Pizza Bowl, Golden Harvest Lounge, Odom's Tavern or the truck stop to eat out at so he came to dinner at my house quite a few times. My dad taught at the Jr High with him so anytime we had a concert, dress rehearsal or play performance after school Mr. Wright came to dinner. Those dinners were a combination of the some of the coolest and most embarrassing moments of my life ever.

Ask your kids before having their teachers as friends. LOL

Who needs Pumpkin Pie??

Well I do for one. It’s definitely NOT Thanksgiving for me without Pumpkin pie.  Nothing makes me feel so deprived of good things to eat like missing out on the pies during the Holidays. I can live without rolls,  I can make great Gluten Free Cornbread Dressing but I miss pie.

Sooo what to do to get that much needed Holiday taste in my mouth? I invented

Super Cinchy Devilishly Delectable Pumpkin Pecan Cheesecake

1 can of Libby’s Pumpkin (29 oz.)

1 1/2 cups sugar

1 tsp. salt

1 tsp. ground ginger

2 tsp. ground cinnamon

1/2 tsp. ground cloves

4 large eggs, beaten

Mix together thoroughly then slowly add

2 cans evaporated milk (12 oz.)

Pour it into 2 9” Deep Dish pie pans and bake according to the directions on the can. Let cool completely or even overnight in the fridge before gently blotting the “sweat” off the cooled custard.

Let

1 big tub Philadelphia Cheesecake filling, divided(it’s either by the cream cheese or by the Cool Whip)

soften a bit to room temp (it will spread easier). Layer should be about 1 inch thick. Drizzle on

1 jar Caramel Ice Cream topping then

Decorate the top with

15-20 Candied Pecan halves

Chill til just before serving

This is so yummy and it looks great!

Warning Warning Warning

Continued refusal to behave in a manner that pleases me will result in my unhappiness. This warning applies to people I love, friends, neighbours, relatives, strangers who wander through my personal narrative and folks in faraway lands whose thoughtless actions cause me to become upset when I read the newspaper in the morning. As of this notice, all behavior will be required to pass a NWTAV test (“How will this affect Vicky?”). Failure to do so will result in me having a bad day. And nobody wants that right? Thank you for your consideration. You may now return to your regularly scheduled activities.
Brought to you by Chuck Lorre Productions,#313 (edited for content)
I LOVE Chuck Lorre!! He has the funniest, freakiest notes which they call Vanity Cards at the end of his television shows. They only appear for the briefest of moments so to read them you must be super quick with the pause button. He spouts off about some of the most hilarious things. His writing style is a lot like my BIL’s. I was so sad when he quit writing his blog but since his and Baby Sis’s kid wasn’t the demon spawn E had predicted he would be, I totally understand. Still I miss The Insensitive Father Blog…….
but I digress sooo back to Chuck…….
The quote from above was one of the Vanity Cards on the Mike & Molly show tonight which I didn’t watch but the DVR caught it when it tuned in to record Hawaii Five O. I’ve also caught them on The Big Bang Theory, those tend to be a little longer and sometimes are a little Blue language wise but they are always entertaining.

Sounds of the Seasons or the Short End of the Stick

One of my favourite radio stations is now playing Christmas music practically non-stop. Hello out there? We barely got done with Halloween and all of those Pumpkin Carols that you play for the Trickey Treaters. I of course am a traditionalist and only play the older stuff.....Shiverey Yells, There is a Graveyard Far Away, Sprits That We Heard On High, The Grim Reaper is Coming to Town and my personal favourite Trick or Treat. which sounds a little like Jingle Bells til you really listen to the words.
Last Friday stores were having Early Black Friday Sales.....WTH? As if one black Friday isn't enough for the Annual Crookston Great Christmas Shop.....which I've only done three times in all the years I've been a Crookston. All that shopping kicks some serious butt.
What happened to Thanksgiving? What happened to the only Holiday where the only decisions are how to time the meal, your nap and the football game you just have to watch? The menu is already planned for you Turkey, Stuffing, Gravy, Mashed Potatoes, Green Bean Casserole,  Candied Yams and Pie and no gifts are exchanged other than the recipe for your world famous Kitchen Sink Casserole. Next thing you know there won't be a Macy's Thanksgiving Parade! Even worse, we'll have to start washing our own cars because the High School Marching Band isn't trying to raise the money to go and be in the parade.

So in no particular order here are my favourite hymns of Thanksgiving.

Do You Smell What I Smell?
All Come, Get a Plate Full
Dark the Drumstick, Neck and Wings
Angels Eat a Bird on High
Good King Applesauce
Carol of the Belch
and just for fun All I Want for Christmas is Mylanta, Please.

My Door is Open

About a month ago I got a bee in my bonnet and decided to freshen up the front door. Down came the grapevine, the Ivy garland and the Forsythia blossoms. I hosed down the entire front of the house and got rid of a multitude of spider webs dead leaves and DIRT. There was alot of Dirt. It hides in the weird texture of the siding in unexpected corners  and sticks to the house. Then I noticed that the door itself was looking pretty sad too. Off I went and bought some paint.
Red paint. Not a Burgundy or Old Barn colour but Fire Engine Red. Huge departure for me. We'll have to see how that's going to work. I didn't want to spend all day choosing then mixing paint. All that was fine when I worked there but not now.
One coat down.
2 to go.
I bought a cute Welcome Basket to hang on the door when I'm done. you'll probably get a look at it next spring at the rate my household projects are going.

Dancing but not with the Stars

Yes, you read that right. It says dancing. Something I haven’t done in public in 30 years

In all fairness Teresa did call and remind me earlier that this was the weekend I’d sort of promised to go to a Singles Dance with her. She’s been bugging me about it off and on for about a year or so now.

So after spending Saturday afternoon Taste Testing with Cami and the kiddos at the first ever Gluten Free Expo. A lot of new stuff some of which was really good and some really bad and all more expensive than regular food. When I got home I worked on my lesson for Sunday I tried to make that last a long time but it didn’t fly as a valid excuse since she knows I teach every other week. Last weekend was General Conference so I had almost 3 weeks to get it done.

I tried a bunch of other good excuses like I had to wear a dress…..no I didn’t. Wear makeup….I already had it on. Wash my hair, do my homework, walk the dog, watch TV, re-grout the shower, paint the front door, change the batteries in the smoke detectors…..you know the usual stuff. Teresa called to say she was picking me up at 8:15 no more stalling.

So we go. It was reasonably decent music with video screens and I did get asked to dance. One guy looked at me weird when I asked his name and asked me why I wanted to know. WTH! are you kidding me? I’m supposed to just walk out there and have anonymous gyrations with you?

Then Teresa and her cousin Wendi went to the restroom and this other guy asked me to dance.  The music turned to a slow dance and he wanted to double clutch and about 1/2 way thru that song he said something like Wanna come home with me?? NOT!! I just walked off the floor, waited for Teresa to come back and watched the clock til we could go home.

There were some fun moments watching the other dancers but never again!! 

Did I mention that it cost $9.00 to get in?

Your Hands

one of my new favourite artists is JJ Heller. She’s a Christian singer/songwriter and I really like her messages. I literally found her through the website Stumble upon. Love love love this song and video.

Hope you like it too!

Wedding Dress Woes

So I was doing a consult with the bride and her mom and MOG this was the first time we’d met. I did my standard intro… this is Your Day and  what do you envision? MOB butts in, again and again and again! No Mom not your day but Darling Daughter’s then I asked the way wrong question……………. about the dress…………..should have known better.

Bride starts bawling!!

Lots of Drama!! For the ceremony she is wearing Mom’s dress and for the reception/dancing she is wearing MOG’s dress. WTH? Poor thing doesn’t get any choice.  She really wants to wear MOG’s but not her mom’s.  MOB is not having any of that!  Mom’s dress has been through 3 weddings already and is FUGLY!  Way weird! go get your own dress!

No can’t do that can’t afford $2500.00 gown!! Except for 2 weddings and the weird ones on TV I honestly can’t remember any bride  spending near that much. Hell mine was only just over $75.00!

Granny B and Aunt Carla made my dress. It was the perfect dress for me. Empire waist with lace bodice, sleeves and  lace  train with more lace around the hem.  I still remember how horrified Mom was when I cut up the detachable train and used the lace as a table cloth and dresser scarf.  I see that every time I walk in my bedroom. I also used the lace as snowflakes on our Christmas tree. I “busted out” after a few years and couldn’t wear the dress to the temple any more so it’s in the cedar chest with the veil.

I totally plan to mention to the Bride to have  a Rock the Dress or Trash the Dress type photo shoot.  If she does it as part of her Bridal’s she won’t have to worry about which dress to wear the Big Day!

I’m sooo brilliant!!

South Pacific

The musical just got over. I missed the beginning, too busy watching Nate Berkus’s show I guess. Anyway I just love it! Mitzi Gaynor, Rossano Brazzi, John Kerr just the best cast ever! Totally better by far than the remake with Glenn Close, though I liked Harry Connick, Jr alot more as Lt. Cable.

Every time I see it I’m back in High School again. Back in the day when we used record players I had an LP with the Original Broadway cast that I found in Granny B’s basement. I played it over and over.  For some reason the record was a clear yellow colour. Funny what you remember.

During our Swing Choir trip to Stevenson my Junior year it was on TV the night we got totally busted. We were a bit too loud singing along. LOL (Whole ‘nother story)

When I was a Senior at Kearns this was the musical that we did. It was the only thing I really got involved in that year. I tried out mostly because I knew every song.  My audition piece was Bali Hai and when I was called back I did I’m in Love With Wonderful Guy. It was pretty obvious I didn’t look Tonganeese so I didn’t get to play Bloody Mary but I was the understudy for the Nellie Forbush role, Lisa Bell was the lead and she didn’t get sick so I was a nurse in the chorus. I did get to get her wet onstage in the shower scene “Wash that Man”. It was a lot of fun and I still know every song.  Too bad I’m nobody’s 101lb Honey Bun now.

Little Pig Chinny Chin Chin or Hag Hairs

So lately I’ve been finding more and more freaky hairs growing wild practically overnight.  Found one today on my neck that had to have been growing awhile…. that sucker was almost 5 inches long!

I don’t know how I missed it.

Mainly they are on my chin but every once in awhile the suckers show up on my neck, chest or arms. They are probably on my back too but if they are Lucy is too polite to say anything about it.

It’s becoming a real problem especially since I started taking Thyroid meds last spring. No longer is it a once a week thing-now it’s more like daily maintenance to avoid getting the dreaded Fur Face. I’m sure within a week of slacking off I could join the circus as the Bearded Lady.

Waxing hurts like crazy because there are so many. Facial Nair burns my skin and leaves it red. Plucking is terribly painful too. So I’ve been shaving them. Now I’m getting 5 o’clock shadow!!

I’ve always had a problem with the two moles on my face but this is getting really bad. I called to find out how much laser would cost….Ouch!!! I could buy 6 electric razors for one laser treatment.

Now I’m starting to notice longer arm hairs and I can’t help but wonder if I will need to start tracking when the next Full Moon is.  Maybe I belong on Team Jacob??

Inquiring minds want to know.

Ever Wonder Why?

the weirdest TV schedules are on Saturday afternoons and the best shows to watch overlap on Sunday nights?

I mean come on who watches something called Yeti? or even better spends time making/acting in a show called Yeti?

In the Good Old Summertime

I’ve sure been all kinds of busy this last few months. Love is in Bloom….. in fact I just had another wedding on the 10th.  Unfortunately I also had a few orders for funeral flowers too…….I don’t do them often but these were for friends of family. A single mom in Karen’s ward buried her son and Dave and Julie’s sweet next door neighbour Eloise died very unexpectedly. Another friend lost her sister and the viewing was last night so I made a trip to the flower market Saturday rather than go to Idaho for a Family Reunion. But it looks like they had fun based on Facebook Photos that have been posted.

I’m getting ready for my vacation and good news! I’m picking up Heidi in Boise so I won’t have to drive the whole way by myself. I also got a hotel room as my birthday present so I’ll be able to party and then go right to bed without a drive late at night. Woo Hoo!

I’ve been tending alot for Andy and Sarah because they are so terribly accident prone. Eight times in 8 weeks I’ve watched kids. Longest stretch between hospital visits was 10 days between Chase’s concussion and Sarah’s sprained ankle caused by the  screwdriver stabbing incident.  I‘ve gotten paid in jam and produce and get free Pampered Chef stuff so it’s all good.

In the News

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This is my friend JoBeth's husband on the news. They live on a ranch in Arizona right on the border. This is why Arizona signed the Immigration Law. They have had as many as 500,000 people streaming thru their property. He voices a very real fear for his families safety. They have been robbed 7 times by illegal immigrants.

Hello My Friends

In a few months I'll be traveling on up to Washington to see my folks. While I'm there I plan on attending  the Connell High School Reunion for Classes '79 and '80. It should be alot of fun! Thanks to Facebook  I've been getting alot friend requests and doing some reconnecting and catching up.  It's amazing to me how much we've all changed, yet remained the same after 30 years. I marvel at the things we've accomplished. I mourn for those we've lost along the way. I wish I had been a better friend, there are so many I lost contact with all those years ago when we moved to Salt Lake City, Utah my Senior year.
Oh how I hated it! I hated going from being the girl who knew everyone in our small pond to practically drowning in the great lake waters of Kearns High. There the Class of 1979 had a little over 1000 students and over 3500 in the school. I will never forget my first week of school there.... I practically starved to death because I just could not seem to find the cafeteria. I had such a full class schedule because of the way none of my Freshman year's credits were counted. I had to re-take/make up a ton of work. I'd been in Algebra but had to take Basic Math, I was a TA in Home Ec in Connelll but had to go to Sewing 101 and  Cooking Basics.  Hello? I pretty much made all my own clothes from Jr High on. I always wanted to ask them just how they thought a meal got on the table at home if Jac and I didn't make it. It still took a waiver from the School Board to graduate because I was still 1 1/2 credits short. It took awhile to make new friends, we were just begining to know each other and then we graduated and went our separate ways.
I will never forget my small town roots. Maybe that's why I love living here on the edge in Magna. It still feels small town to me. I go to the grocery and I see people I know and a quick trip turns into an hour long catch up. But if I 've got the price of a ticket I'm minutes away from the Opera, Ballet or Symphony. I can visit the Zoo, shop in just about any national chain and if I want to see stars I just drive to Park City the last week of January. Life is what you make it and I think mine is turning out okay.

Hell Has Frozen Over

I went to church on Mother's Day!!!

That has only happened one other time in 30 years and granted I spent all of Sacrament Meeting fine tuning my GD lesson rather than sitting thru the obligatory handing out to anyone female and over 18 but I'm really proud of me. I even held my little Ben B-boy in RS and didn't bawl when I gave him back.

Bad Things Come in Three’s or waiting for the other shoe to drop

Pulled into the garage Late Saturday night and smelled a funky smell that didn't smell so well. Checked, it wasn't the trash. Then I noticed it, the Dreaded Sound of Silence. No need to go after it, the freezer wasn't running. Total Loss. No ice crystals anywhere, not even a hint of coolness! Damn thing had to have been off for days.

So Sunday after Church I changed into old clothes. Gloved up and went to work. Rough guess I probably lost close to $300 worth of food. Then I mopped it all out with PINE SOL then waited a bit and wiped it all down with Clorox Bleach. Still a funky smell out there but I’m thinking that will go away when I hose out the garage floor and it’s still a bit too cold for that.

Monday I went to Costco to try and get a start on building up the freezers inventory and the stupid membership expired. I asked could I get a courtesy slide on renewing and they said no so to get what I needed I had to pay up. It dawned on me walking out that I didn;t have anywhere close to $200 worth of stuff so I looked and the renewal was $100!!!! Blane and I have some sort of business account……

Then the washing machine died. It’s death was slow and ugly. For months now the trigger that sends the washer into a spin cycle has been broke. I had to set the timer for the agitate cycle when it went off I had to go and open the lid then close it and it would spin out and refill then another open and shut to spin the rinse water out. That all changed the other day. Darn thing freaked out and it sounded like there was a helicopter in there. It ground to a halt but not before something cracked up inside and you could smell burnt wiring.

Of course it didn’t end there……. the water barrel part cracked up and there was a flood of water. I was bailing as fast as I could be the rug in the bathroom still got soaked thru. The floor didn’t buckle but some Christmas down in the storeroom got wet. No fabric and no Santas were harmed.

So I had a new washer to buy

It came today and didn’t fit the space!!! I couldn’t even close the door to the garage and that’s not going to work. So they had to change everything back out and get one that would fit. It’s pretty close but I can close the door  now. There is all of 1/2” of clearance.

So my question is when does the bleeding money stop? OR WHAT’S NEXT?

Is it the new glasses I need or will I be getting collection calls now I’ve maxed out every credit card I own….

Only time will tell.

Just Catching Up!

At long last here I am posting something new.
Seems fitting it being May Day and all I should start with something about flowers. I was busy with flowers for my niece Camille's wedding in April. she had all white Calla Lillies and Jasmine. Her colours were black White and Dr Pepper Red and it turned out beautiful and on a perfect day.

My snowball bush by the back porch is blooming and smells wonderful when it stops raining.

Seth Daryk was born yesterday morning and baby and momma Tracy are both doing fine. His entrance to the world wasn't quite as dramatic as big brother Gray's. No minute by minute updates for 3 days straight on Eric's blog or anything. Seth was presenting placenta previa so Baby Sis had a planned C-section this time round. As far as I know he has all his fingers, toes, eyes and nose. No word yet on hair colour or ears. Only time will tell if he gets to wear a Yoda costume for Halloween. Gray will be turning 2 next month so Tracy will really have her hands full.

Lucy got her summer puppy cut and looks completely nekkid......of course then we got all this weird winter weather so she's freezing and won't go outside very long.

Once in a New Moon

Friday night after scrapping with my peeps til midnight I stopped at Wally World on the way home to pick up  New Moon and the Princess and the Frog movies. I also got some milk but that’s not relevant to my story other than it’s good with Brownies at 1 am.

Anyway since I was still wide awake…partly due to to the Dr Pepper I had and even more to do with my screwy sleep cycles…… currently in the stay up all night circadian rhythm…I popped the movie in once I got home.

Now more than ever I’m on Team Charlie. Putting up with Whiny Bella and her “he won’t kill me, I just want to die” attitude really bugs me. Sitting moping in her room for months on end is pretty freaky to. Reminds me of my mom but that’s a whole other story and doesn’t belong here on the web. Let’s just say I still have issues and leave it at that.  and now back to my story.

Edward is good but he certainly doesn’t really “Dazzle “ me and I don’t like the bedhead look. Dude comb your hair!!  Jacob is sooo cute (especially with his long hair) but he’s still jailbait. The fact that both of them are young enough to be my kids sort of ads to the whole ICK factor.

So the more mature me is firmly planted on Team Charlie. I briefly considered Team Billy  (he reminds me of Fred my 7th grade boyfriend) he has the whole Native American thing going on. Cool!

Billy  “I’m down with the kids” 

But Charlie “Dude you’re the Bomb” is simple, uncomplicated, protective (Mace)what you see is what you get and well lets face it he’s more mobile than Billy. Another wheelchair? NOT!

My heart is safer with Charlie. The mustache will tickle and I’m up for a few laughs.

My Brush with Death…….or How Lucy Saved My Life

there I was just minding my own business stirring my soup at the stove, when Lucy started whine-ing wanting to go out. Since I pretend to be the master of my domain and she ain’t the Boss of Me I told her to wait. Then she grabbed my pant leg and starting tugging. I’m thinking allright already and went to open the door for her.

Just as I got by the table Crash Boom Clatter the Potrack over the island came crashing down!!! Pots, pans and mugs were flying everywhere and the entire potrack was swinging wildly from the one hook that held back and forth right where my head was just seconds before!!

Thanks to LucyBelle I’m not lying dead on the floor from a skull fracture or bleeding out from cuts inflicted by broken crockery. Scary Stuff…….

I gave her extra treats. Good Puppy.

My New Favourite Song and Video

I just love reading the messages that make Ordinary people Heroes to someone else, even total strangers. Besides lets face it Jon unlike Mick, Steven and Gene is a rocker from my youth who has aged very, very well!

Jury Duty

Went and did my civic duty. Even got thru the pool. Did lunch. Came back in and it was goodbye all they worked out a plea. Now I actually have to figure out what to do the rest of the week.

Oh well At least I got paid $18.50 for the day

Am I a Responsible Citizen?

I must be or I wouldn’t have be called for the dreaded………………………………..wait for it…………………………………………………………

 

 

 

Jury Duty.

 

 

 

Since I can’t come up with any reasonable excuse to get out of it I will be serving later this month and the first part of next. I’m actually rather looking forward to it. Does Utah still enforce the Death Penalty?

New Resolutions

Most people talk about their resolutions on January 1st. I usually let my mind think about it a bit before picking goals that are achievable.

So here they are…….

I will floss everyday

I will actually read Isaiah and Leviticus (don’t really have a choice since I’m teaching the OT in Gospel Doctrine but hopefully I will actually learn something)

I will prepare most of my lesson on Thursdays

I will go to the Temple more often but at least 12 times.