Love, Laughs, Tickles, Teases. Frogs & Jelly Beans

Sunday, April 27, 2008

The Iron Rod
Here I am at the 'puter working on the talk I will be giving in Sacrament Meeting tommorrow. No idea how it's all going to work out.... and this link comes to my attention. It gives a whole new perspective to Holding to the Rod.
It's the crumbling of the path leading evr upwards that got me. Stray just a bit and there you are in a whole world full of trouble. All it needs is the big building with all those who go the way of the world hanging out the windows jeering at those who love the Lord and try always to follow in his footsteps.

Tuesday, April 15, 2008

Don't Worry......

Two words that I just can't get past lately.
I used to be such a just "go with the flow" kinda gal. After all what's going to happen will just happen, Right? Not anymore. No! now that there's only ME to worry about and no one to share every stupid little thought that comes into my little pea brain I have become a worrier. I literally lose sleep over the dumbest things.
It used to bug the heck out of the Frog that I DIDN'T worry about the worst case scenario what if's. what he didn't seem to know was that real life rarely ends up as bad as you try to imagine. I think we all have a certain point where you Let Go and Let God. I just usually arrive there sooner than most. But lately I'm the one predicting doom and gloom.
So I've decided to be Happy!!
After all Pink is not just a colour it's an ATTITUDE!!
I spent yesterday at the Federal Building for my SSDI hearing. I met Emily in real life and we had a nice chat before my name was called. The Judge was really nice and had her ask me most of the questions and then he asked a few himself. They weren't too bad just really embarrassing. I was in a bit of pain ...all that worrying....and I just kept getting more uncomfortable. When it got time for the vocational expert to testify I got sick and had to leave the room. While I was gone they finished and Emily came out to get me and said the Judge had told her he would approve me for benefits and that he wasn't sure why it had been kicked up to the adjudication level. So now it's official and I'm retired. And wouldn't you know today I'm feeling pretty good.

I Really Am A Princess

You Are Jasmine!
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Independent and adventurous. You don't want much; just to break out of the guilded cage society has put you in and experience life to the fullest. Following orders isn't really one of your strong points, and you would rather live a life of poverty than being forced into something that you hate.

Which Disney Princess Are You?

And the Frog knew it all along!!

Thursday, April 03, 2008

Wonder Drug

Some great drug company researchers have finally developed a new synthetic drug for the rest of the world. Using minute samples of our shared familial DNA doctors and gene therapists were able to isolate the strand regulating the developemnet of certain centers in the brain to "Turn Off" this ability in others. In various blind studies throughout the United States and Europe this new drug was 97.999% effective on those recieveing this drug in expressing themselves more appropriately. Though FDA approval has not been granted, permission to do further testing on the public at large has been granted. Unfortunately my abilities in this area are so highly developed that no amount of this new drug seems to work on me or my family. Those of you in the public at large not related to us can now be free of the social embarassment we often feel. You can actually say you are taking this drug and suppressing those cells in the brain that so often get me and the rest of my family into trouble. The name of this new drug is called Sarcasma So get yours today!

Tuesday, April 01, 2008

Fooled Myself

There I was akwardly leaning over the sink in the bathroom with my brand new super duper nifty no fail tweezers (they weren't really new but they were still in the package from being in my Christmas stocking). Did I mention that I am blind as a bat without my glasses? So anyway, there I was tongue out in full concentration mode, when the phone rang.
It Scared the Crap out of me!! I dropped the tweezers after poking myself in the eye. In the process of falling down the unprotected drain in the sink the pointy little end that just minutes earlier I had been so excited about.......after all proper plucking is a lot like surgery, you need precision instruments to do it correctly.......scratched the end of my nose only I didn't really notice because I was actually rushing to get to the phone before it woke up the neighbours baby I was watching. Then of course it was a telemarketer who wouldn't take no for an answer so I said something terribly horribly rude and hung up just as ........wait for it........
Baby wakes starts to do the highpitched screaming "Help me I'm being murdered in my sleep get me the Hell out of here I don't know where I am" cry.
that same screaming from the other night when I tried to kill Sarina with the magic potion Trudy sent me.
Now completely deaf, blinded for life, one eye watering fiercely as mascara runs off the cratered planet I call my face, I yank open the door . It was the Present Man...aka UPS...I sign and the guy says "That looks pretty nasty are you okay?"
I gave him the MEAN MUG as I read the addressee...... not me but my neighbours with the yappy dogs. While he points to the end of my nose which is now dripping blood everywhere down my shirt because of those #$@@^^&**!!! state of the art tweezers that are now peacefully residing in the J-bend of the bathroom sink have seriously maimed me all because I tried to save $7.50 plus tip

PS Does anyone know a good plumber?