Love, Laughs, Tickles, Teases. Frogs & Jelly Beans

Friday, December 29, 2006


You know how sometimes you get a thought in your head and it will not will not go away? That's what I've been experiencing for days now. I've known for days that I need to record all these memories while they are still fresh but a blog seem a bit to public so I haven't. Only I can't seem to find my journal. So here it goes...not my usual funny but my deep thoughts.

A few years ago a friend of mine gave a beautiful December Christmas lesson in RS about putting more " JOY" into our lives. She pointed out that the "J" in JOY stood for Jesus and how we all need to take the time to aknowledge him and his attoning sacrifice for us in our lives in the little every day moments we all seem to take for granted. The "O" stood for others and how we grow to love those we make the time to give service to. The "Y" stands for You or Yourself. How if we are to have true JOY we need to put ourselves first in things once in awhile just to replenish our own souls and spirits to face the challenges of everyday life.

She pointed out that all 3 things need to find a balance if we are to have joy in our lives. Ever since I've tried to follow her advice and every year at Christmas I find the little pin she gave to each of us as a Remembrance. I try hard so I don't get so caught up with the hectic pace of the Season that I forget the reason we have it in the first place.

The other night I met with a very special man. One I know is called of God to be in this position at this time. I recieved my reccommend to attend the Temples of the Lord from him. but I also recieved a special blessing at his hands, one that of course made me bawl like a baby but it gave me such comfort. I know I will have strength to get thru the next few weeks and beyond because of the words of the blessing he felt inspired to give me that night.
Sometimes I wish we recorded those blessings like we record those from the Patriarch, so that we can refer to them later and use them as a guide. I know though that sometimes it's Not the Words that are spoken but the feelings and emotions that are conveyed directly to our spirits that bring us the most Peace to our soul, Comfort to our minds and Joy to our hearts. How blessed I feel to have this knowledge now......... when I need it the most........ that I AM a Daughter of God who loves me and wants only the best for me.

I'm in awe of the Testimony of my beloved Frog. He has taught so much in our time together but never more than in these last few weeks. Sometimes I feel so overwhelmed with everything that is to come but he has made it so easy for me to know his wants and needs and be guided by the decisions he as already made and put into place. Hal said that Steve has born his Testamony over and over without uttering a word and he is so right. My Frog may not have made 'his mark on the world' but he has certainly left his mark on us that know and love him. He is the best Gift ever.

Sunday, December 24, 2006

Frog Kissin'

Do you remember in the fairy tale, how the wicked witches spell
Turned the handsome prince to a toad?
By the power of a potion, she handed him the notion
He was lower than the dirt in the road.
And though she left him green and warted, her evil plans were thwarted
Their chanced to happen by a young miss
Who inspite of his complexion, offered him affection
And broke the wicked curse with her kiss
So if you've never been frog kissing
Then you don't know what you've been missin',
There's a wealth of opportunity under each and every log.
And if you've never been charm-breakin',
Then you've never been handsome prince makin'.
You've got to slow down, turn around, bend down,
Kiss you a frog!
Once upon a time ago, I was down and feelin' low
Like a lonely frog in a pond
My life was just a joke, and I was just about to croak
Cuz I'd be zapped by life's wicked wand.
But in the depths of my depression, there came a true expression
Of love from a person so sweet.
She gave me warm fuzzy feelings, feelings that were healin'
And she knocked me off my little webbed feet.
There's a happy-ever-after-land, deep in the heart of man
Where a prince and princess abides.
But all we get are glimpses, of the happy prince or princess'
Cause they're covered with a green warty hide.
Though they're full of life's potential, they're lacking one essential
To enable them to shine like a star.
That's a handsome guy or missus, to smother them with kisses
And love them just the way that they are.
That's the secret of frog kissing
You can do it too if you'll just listen
There's a wealth of opportunity under each and every log.
That's the secret of charm-breakin',
That's the secret of handsome prince makin'.
You've got to slow down, turn around, bend down, Kiss you a...
You've got to slow down, turn around, bend down, Kiss you a...
You've got to slow down, turn around, bend down, Kiss you a frog!
Hoppy Birthday You Frog You!

Hoppy Birthday Frog Charming

My friend TC did a trading page for me this summer with the title "My Frog Charming".

A Trading Page in Scrapbooking terms is just that. You send me your pictures and I send you mine and we both make pages for each others scrapbooks. It was so cute!! She even cut out little frogs and put them across the page.

Today is my Frog's 49th birthday. It will be his last.

For 27 years we have spent it together and I'm so very grateful that this one is no different. He is home. He is here with me. He most likely won't be able to swallow any pecan pie ( he rather have that than BDay cake anyday) and doesn't have the strength to blow out so many candles but this is what he wanted.

I woke to find him already awake and lying in the dark. He said he'd been laying there for hours just thinking. I asked him what about and I know he lied when he said " getting back to sleep". Funny how that live and love someone for so long you really DO know what they are thinking.

I'm going to miss him so very very much. Watching him slip away is almost more than I can stand to bear. He is so very skinny and he has no muscle left at all. his skin doesn't seem to want to accept any extra moisture and is very dry and paper thin.

How I love him.

We've had some good conversations but they tire him out so that I've tried not to let them go on to long. He asked if he'd get to run and finish a marathon in heaven and Blane and I told him we were sure he would be so busy running back and forth he wouldn't even know how slowly the time was passing for us here. Stephen knows he is going and he is so prepared to do whatever the Lord asks of him. I only wish I were that ready for him to leave.

I think of how I used to fall apart over getting my period after some of those fertility treatments we tried years ago and how awful I felt. That was nothing compared to this pain.

So Hoppy Birthday My Darling Frog Charming! Soon the witches evil spell will be broken and you'll turn back into my Prince and be running again. Know that I love you more than I can say, you are the very best part of me.

Monday, December 18, 2006

Hic-Ups and Slip Ups

My Frog had the Hic-ups off and on again all day today. He is the only person I know to make a ribbett sound. He gets them really bad after his Solumedrol treatments every month. I'm wondering if it's the antibiotic he's on that's giving them to him now. For the first night since I brought him home he hasn't run a high fever so I'm hoping that we'll both get some much needed sleep tonite.
Our Hospice nurse Jenna came out today and changed his catherter. It had gotten blocked and was causing him a bit of discomfort because I couldn't get it irrigated to clear it. It was already on the schedule to be changed today but I'd forgotten. Little Bitty Miracles occurring every day.
Craig stopped by after he got off work and de-iced the front steps and filled the watersoftener too. I hadn't realized it had gotten packed down and so slick there.
I'm being watched out for I know.

Ups and Downs

I have been constantly reminded over the last few days of how very much we are loved. How much of an impact that my dear Frog has had on those around us. As each day brings new challenges and worries. I also get new insights into what a strong and valiant spirit that my Frog has. How many lives he has touched for good......and as my BIL Hal put it last he has born his Testimony to others throughout the years without even saying a word. What a blessing it has been to even play a small part in his life.
How very grateful I am to have been asked to share his life with him. What an honour and a privilege it has it has actually been. I journaled alot about the bad times and the difficulties we've gone thru, but I never really expressed in some of those pages the high points. The oftimes quirky sense of humor he brings to the things that he can accomplish. I missed recording some of those moments and now they are gone forever. Remembered only by the angels of heaven.
We had quite a few visitors last night. The young men brought the Sacrament in. Later on Humberto Puchea stopped by, visited a bit then came back with a lovely rice pudding and a cake, along with something he called Cha-chita for Stephen to drink and try and keep down, made with ricemilk and a bit of cinnamon that is very common remedy for those with stomach problems in his native Veneuzela.
What an extrordinary and humble man. How I love him and his family!! They are such an example of faith, giving of their time and talents so very generously to us. It was such an awesome gesture on his part. I remember when he was out of work in 2001 and how he came in on the days I worked and bathed and dressed Steve so tenderly. Fixed him lovely little lunches and then made dinner too so I wouldn't have to. So willing to serve his fellow man when he had the trial of providing for his own family.
Melissa came by when I needed to drive Baby Sis to the airport. A real adventure in the snow and fog. BLB was going to come from Lehi to take her but called to say he had about 16" of snow and it was still coming down hard. I took the opportunity to get the Frog some liquid Tylenol on the way home. Melissa and Dennis said it was okay an "Ox in the Mire" situation or in this case a Frog in the Mud. LOL. He did much better.
Then Kathy, Hal and the kids brought out Lila my MIL for a visit. Hal and I talked awhile, we made a couple of changes to the plan but it will be so much the better for it I think. I just hope I'm able to accomplish what he asked,

Friday, December 15, 2006

If You've Never Been Frog Kissin!,You Don't Know What You're Missin"

email sent Monday Dec 4th
first the good news
He is out of the ICU.... off some of the blood pressure crap and in a regular room.
Now the bad news
I'm sick!! tossing my cookies, horrible knots in my tummy, fever and chills. Called the Dr who called in some medicine for me and I get to go see her tommorrow. Meanwhile my cousin Craig picked up the prescription for me after going to see the Frog when he got off work. His son Aaron is leaving on his LDS mission to Uraguay next week so it makes it extra special that he took the time to stop in and see us both with all he's got going on to home.
Meanwhile the Frog's Dr's are a bit concerned that now he is all re-hydrated that his kidneys are not putting out very well. One thing after another. Welcome to my world.

email sent Thursday Dec 7th
the Frog.................. after 48 hours on the antibiotic I can go see him today! Woo Hoo!
Strep sucks!
His Dr's say I'll have to wear a mask for a couple more days but I don't have to completely stay away. No news on when or if he gets to come home. They are talking of discharging him to a care facility. I wish they'd just write the orders for Hospice here. He hated it so bad the last time. Today he gets some more X-rays to see if the PUmonia has cleared up any and they are doing an MRI to compare with his last one to see where we are on any new MS leisions. I'll keep ya posted. Thank goodness I'm starting to feel a bit better. Love, Love, Love my Visiting Teacher she came and cleaned a bit while I was so punky feeling.

email sent Friday Dec 8th
Yipee! the Frog is out of the hospital.
Unfortuantely he is in Holiday Care Center for the foreseeable future. Like until after Christmas maybe. Booby Hoo Booby Hoo
It's a bit better than the one he was in B4. Lots cleaner and doesn't smell too much like old people. I don't get why they didn't think I could take care of him better here but the insurance won't pay for extra home visits for IV meds. Evil, Nasty, Bloodsuckers that they are.
The problem is it's clear up on Holiday Blvd. Not good to go clear to 2300 East when you live on 8370 West and drive a gas guzzler like mine.
His roommate seems nice enough. He is actaully a bit younger than Steve and has some type of spinal injury. His name is Peter but he knows only a little English. He was speaking in one of the Scandinavin languages on the phone to someone when we got there. He sounded a lot like Uncle Chris, so I think maybe Danish? Anyway someone who says Ja for yes a lot.

email sent Tuesday Dec 12th

I need some more prayers.
My Frog Charming took a turn for the worst last night. I woke to a ringing phone and the Dr calling to ask what I wanted to do. He was doing fine on Monday evening but got sick to his tummy and things just cascaded down from there. early Tuesday morning. If they can work things out with the Insurance, the Dr.s & Hospice and it's resonably safe to move him then I'll be bringing him home.
If not then he'll be getting hospice there at the Care center. His fever was up high most of the day but broke around 6:30pm. When I left to come home for some rest about an hour ago he was able to talk very clearly for a tiny bit. He kept running out of breath even though he's getting enough oxygen to blowup the building if somone lit a match.
His poor body is so very tired, but that spirit of his keeps on wanting to fight and tuff it out. He's not in any pain but his lungs are filling with fluid and they are trying to knock back the infection with some stronger antibiotics. His heart rate was near normal after being dangeroulsy high all day. He and I both had blessings this afternoon that were very special and very specific to each of us and our needs now. My head knows it's finally time to 'Let Go and Let God" but my heart is finding it terribly difficult to do. So much for telling yourself you're prepared......... you're so Not.

email sent Thursday Dec 14th
My Frog is now home and "Seeing Christmas" like he wanted to do. He came home a little after 2pm today. and immediately got visited by his family and old friends. He was doing pretty well just a bit tired from all the excitement of coming home and getting settled in.
After tripping over things for the last 2 weeks my VT and the RS Presidency came over and set up the tree and all 130 plus Santas in the living room
The Little Angel Tree is set up on the cedar chest in our room right where he can see it, along with the Nativity waterglobe he gave me last year. On the wall above are the framed postcards that spell out Faith, Hope and Love. I never really noticed B4 or maybe I noticed but didn't pay attention. I discovered there are little cherubs holding the letters. So Angels are literally watching over him.
More proof of that has been coming in over the last day. Just enough apart that you sort of get to savor each one as the miracle it is before the next one happens and catches you by surprise again. There was a problem with the hospital bed we ordered being delivered on time, the Hospice case worker made another call and called me back that the bed would have to come from another company but would be here in the next hour. About the time I started to get anxious about the time and called a friend to come accept delivery on it was along with Melissa to make it up and set things round to be comfortable to visit with him.
Big Little Brother has been able to arrange things at his work to take off the time to see to making sure he does the driving when I had a little low blood sugar episode today.
Middle Little Brother gave his boss a heads up yesterday and a couple hours later was told that when he needed to leave a plane ticket would be there for him by the time he got to the airport.
Shortly after we got him home, Baby Sis called and said "I'm in Spokane and about to get on the plane It lands at 5 can someone pick me up?" Her boss had packed a lunch, driven her from Pullman into Spokane and even gave her some cash since she knew Tracy hadn't had time to stop at an ATM. She's here now safe and sound after a midnight run to Wally world for a few things I'd forgotten about.
Little Sis, Middle Sis and Baby Brother are all ready to drop everything and come as well. Even my Aunt called and said she could cut their road trip short and be on a plane home in a matter of a few hours.
Then BLB's boss called him to tell him that he'd gotten the payroll dept to cut his Christmas bonus check early so that funds would be avilable if needed for tickets for my folks and any other expenses that will be involved that hadn't already been planned for.
God is so very good to us. Thanks to your prayers which He is hearing and answering, He knows our needs before I even have a chance to know I need them.
I Love having such miracles as these a part of my life. I'd been taking a bit too much for granted lately and I guess I needed a slap or 2 upside the head, too bad it was with such a long 2x4.

Monday, December 04, 2006

And so it goes....

Things just keep on happening. Don't know if it's the Chron's acting up or what but I've been in terrible pain all day and not feeling well so I barely made it out of bed all day. Totally sucks cuz the MB TV is acting weird.
The good news is the Frog was moved out of ICU and into a regular room. Yeah!!

What's up with the Frog?

I'd talked with his Dr at the U and he had orders in place for the Frog to be admitted because of the labwork done last week while we were there, but when I called the ambulance for a transport they didn't feel he was stable enough to take him clear across town. So Steve was taken to Pioneer Valley. At the ER there they finally got things settled a bit and called for a transport but when they arrived his blood pressure had dropped again. This time to 40 and his heart rate just sped way up. He also wasn't getting enough oxygen and was having troubles breathing so the decision was made to admitt him there rather than send him across town. Once all the blood work and stuff came back everyone seemed to agree that he has some type of systemic infection going on but wether it is from a UTI, the pressure sores we've been fighting for the last few weeks or the puemonia that he also seems to have gotten we aren't sure.
So he is in the ICU there and is very very sick. He has had a couple of blessings over the last few weeks but we had our dear friend Dennis and Steve's nephew Justin give him another one tonite. Justin will be entering the MTC next week so he had the opportunity to to give his first blessing...... and it was beautiful..... but really enforced the fact that the veil is getting very thin and I won't have him with me much longer.
Thanks for your thoughts and prayers. I'll keep you posted.

Sunday night/Monday Am
Stephen (aka the Frog~) sat up for a bit today and actually ate something.. True it was only some Ensure and a bit of Scrambled Eggs & Waffles but that's a " big improvement" over nothing at all. He even managed a bit of pasta and Ice cream.. His blood pressure is still weird and he is still recieveing a booster drug that needs to be closely monitered so he is still in the ICU at Pioneer Valley with no idea when or even if he is going to be transferred up to the Re-Hab Unit at the U.

Quite frankly I'm rather enjoying being only a few minutes from home. Y'all know how I hate driving the freeways at night. They were'nt quite so strict today about his visitors either so that made it a bit nicer as well. Though they were a bit snotty about kicking me out after visiting hours were over tonite.

Big Little Brother brought me a cell phone yesterday so even though I can't have it on in the ICU I'm checking it every couple of hours and getting some messages. I'm still trying to figure it out, so if you don't hear back try the house I've got that voice mail completely masterd. The Cell sort of scares me a bit when it rings. I'm soo not a techno geek.
I'm doing okay....a bit stressed which is causing the Chron's to act up with some truly awful cramping but otherwise I'm fine just took my Paregoric and Endocort and they've kicked in so I'm off to bed B4 I fall over

Friday, December 01, 2006

Holiday Edition of Getting to Know You

So I got this in an email yesterday filled it out then thought I haven't posted this week so here it goes
Welcome to the 2006 Holiday Edition of Getting to Know Your Friends! You know the drill. Don't be a scrooge!!!

1. Egg Nog or Hot Chocolate? Stephen's Mint Truffle Hot Chocolate! Egg Nog is for New Year's Eve

2. Does Santa wrap presents or just sit them under the tree? Santa wraps everything

3. Colored lights on tree/house or white? .White on the Trees, Coloured on the house if I can con someone into putting them up Otherwise it's just lighted garland on the porch.

4. Do you hang mistletoe? Always

5. When do you put your decorations up? Well right now the boxes are scattered all over the living room. I don't usually do it til after Festival of Trees visit

6. What is your favorite holiday dish? (excluding dessert) Kitchen Sink Casserole ( it's just a ton of veggies in a chese and curry sauce with/ or with out chicken) but I make it ever year on Christmas Eve for the Frog's B-day for the family dinner at his mom's

7. Favorite Holiday memory as a child: I was seven and I got a whole set of white cornflower doll dishes with service for eight with all sorts of little molded foods Never seen anything like them ever. I kept them til my Little Sisters grew up enough to take care of them after I was married. Now they are at Grandma's and the Nieces played with them whrn they were little.

8. When and how did you learn the truth about Santa? I'll always believe........ I still write him a letter every year

9. Do you open a gift on Christmas Eve? We always opened our matching family PJ's on Christmas Eve as Kids then we'd have to put them on and go caroling round the nieghbourhood.
Now only the Frog opens gifts on Christmas Eve because it's his B-day. Then we go to his Mom's for a Family Christmas Eve party and we exchange gifts so I get a few to open there.

10. How do you decorate your Christmas Tree? I used to do a different theme every year. Now I have the LR tree in Santas, Angels and Cherubs on the tree in the bedroom and 12 Days ornaments on the Family room trees. LOL

11. Snow! Love it or Dread it? It's definitely a Love/ Hate relationship I love it when I'm inside and hate it whrn I'm outside and shoveling it.

12. Can you ice skate? No I don't do anything that lets my feet skid out from under me, but I do adore watching it.

13. Do you remember your favorite gift? It was the best and the worst Christmas of my life. In 1978 I was 17 and my parents gave me a door, all the cool shaking boxes under the tree were door knobs and hinges. Santa brought 5 yards of Royal Blue Velvet that I had to sew into a New Year's Eve dress myself and no new storybook. That was it. That was all I got.
It wasn't til a few years later that I realized what a sacrifice it was to spend that kind of money on just one kid when you have seven to buy for, and that they realized how important a bit of privacy was to a teenage girl who is sleeping in a bedroom in the basement with all 3 little brothers in the next room with a curtain between her and God and everyone.

14. What's the most important thing about Christmas for you? Family and the whole Nativity story.

15. What is your favorite Holiday Dessert? Is Fudge a dessert? Mincemeat Pie

16. What is your favorite holiday tradition? Going to the Festival of Trees, Donut Holes for Breakfast on Christmas Day, the Lights on Temple Square on our Anniversary on the 27

17. What tops your tree? Usually a big bow

18. Which do you prefer giving or Receiving? Recieveing stuff from the Frog. Even though his sisters take him shopping and they have my Santa letter he always surprises me with something he thought of by himself.

19. What is your favorite Christmas Song? Any of the Forgotten Carols and Donny Osmond's Mary Did You Know?

20. Candy Canes! Yuck or Yum? YUM! Santa brings the peppermint canes and hangs them on the tree. When they are all gone the tree comes down, But then I also like Fruitcake LOL